Written by Josh Brewer, September 16, 2016, at 11:15 p.m.
Title: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Writer(s): Michael Jacobs, Dominique Othenin-Girard, Shem Bitterman (I have no clue how it took three people to write this dreck)
Release Date: October 13, 1989
Cast: Danielle Harris, Donald Pleasence, Ellie Cornell, Wendy Kaplan, Tamara Glynn, Beau Starr
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Cliff’s Notes
Michael Myers tries to kill his niece, again. He doesn’t manage to pull it off, again. Dr. Loomis monologues, again. Thus, nothing is interesting.
Lecture
I’m not going to lie, the first time through all of the Halloween movies Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers was, by far, my least favorite. The film seems tired, confused, and really repetitive, especially watching it after Part 4, which is one of my personal favorites in the series. Here, there’s little that makes the film remarkable in the slightest.
What’s worse it that the flick does everything it can to burn the good will that the series built over time. Jamie and Rachel served as refreshing breaths of fresh air in Part 4. Here, they have almost nothing to do and instead the flick finds focuses on characters that are either super annoying, Spitz they named hims SPITZ, or poorly played.
This entry ignores the previous film’s ending and instead replaces it with a poor man’s Frankenstein rip off. Even Loomis feels tired and, for the only time in the entire series, a touch forced. Hence, I’m thrilled that this is Othenin-Girard’s only entry in the series; I doubt it could have survived another.
So wait, how is this getting a better rating than the three flicks already reviewed? Well, a couple of things. First, The Producer’s Cut of Halloween 6 is far superior to this mess, but the theatrical cut is almost un-follow-able. There is a plot here, it’s terrible and stupid, but it exists. And I happen to prefer hyper-watered-down Michael to the only kinda Michael that dominates Rob Zombie’s vision. Finally, watching Halloween: Resurrection is like running your face into a cheese grater for an hour and a half.
And there are a few okay bits. Once all of the side characters have died and we’re just left with Loomis, Jamie, and Michael, the flick preforms better. The chase is stronger and all of the terrible new characters are dead, so we get back to a little bit about what made the series work. That plus getting to watch Michael kill Kaplan’s Tina saves the day. Oh, I know I’m supposed to list that as a spoiler, but if you see this film, the only thing that’s going to keep you going is hoping that she’s not going to make it.
Acting
Harris is, again, very solid. She’s the closest thing to good this flick has. Obviously, the director noticed this and had her not talk for the first half of the film.
Glynn and Starr are OK, but the film works against them at every opportunity. In contrast, Cornell gives a grounded, quality performance. Because of this, I sure wish she was in more of the flick and Kaplan was in less. As always, Pleasence rocks as Loomis, but the crap script and awful direction dull even his amazingness. Kaplan is, by far, one of the most awful actors tossed into the series. Speaking of, why the hell do they switch final girls ? They are just trying to make this movie worse. Conclusion: I’m guessing they do it to punish us.
Directing
Othenin-Girard manages a flick that looks nice and… that’s it. No tension, no focus, nothing. And beyond the film’s look, there’s nothing under the hood. Thus, he’s easily my least favorite of the Halloween directors, which is saying something. The series deserves better.
Script
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers has a script that, let’s not over exaggerate, could have been written by a couple of five-year-olds high on Ritalin and pixie sticks. You can tell the writers were desperate; the film lacks structure, the new characters behave terribly and the writers shit on the returning characters at every opportunity. In contrast, the only part that even remotely works is the finale.
Effects
Mike’s killing folks, but it really seems like his heart’s not in it. We get some blood and a pitchforking. Let’s be honest, the most brutal part of this flick comes from Loomis and his handy 2×4. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers disappoints. Which could just be a metaphor for the entire flick.
Highlights
I really liked the laundry chute bit. It’s the closest thing this flick has to good.
Lowlights
They get rid of Rachel to replace her with Tina. Literally, they take the one character who is giving anything to the story and replace her with one of the worst characters in horror history. As a result, I’m banging my head on the table to cover the pain.
Halloween-iness
So, Myers is killing folks. That’s good. Everything else is a mess. However, a weak Jamie and a pissed off Loomis bring it a touch closer to what the series can be.
Final Thoughts 
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers is still in the bottom rung of the sequels. The flick is saved – ok, strong word… snatched from the jaws of awful – by the elements that it tries to ignore: Jamie and Loomis. This series has a ton to offer; however, this isn’t it.