Child’s Play 3

3/3/2017, By: James Garibay – My favorite movie in the Chucky franchise…NOT!!  In my opinion, this is the worst one.  My brother argues that Seed of Chucky is the worst.  We have some fun debates on this issue.  Every franchise has one that is just straight up not good.  Friday the 13th has part 5, Nightmare on elm street has part 5, hell even The Omen had that bad “tv movie” sequel.  I don’t care for this one, but it’s still part of the series, so I subject myself to it when I do a marathon.

Even though I don’t really care for this flick, it has it’s moments.  When the movie starts, it’s in the factory at the end of Child’s Play 2.  It’s been out of production for 8 years and workers are getting it cleaned up to start running again.  It’s pretty cool to see all the Chucky head-molds.  A claw then comes down and grabs the remains of the decapitated Chucky, spilling his blood into the vat of hot wax.  As the blood mixes with the wax it starts to form the head of the doll.  This is probably the coolest effect of the movie, because all they did was melt a wax head real time then rewind the footage.

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The first death is mediocre.  Chucky is the first doll off the assembly line, and is given to the CEO of the Good Guy company.  The “Good Guy of the 90’s”.  My Brother would always shout “what happened to the Good Guy of the 80’s!”.  Chucky is still on the hunt for Andy to transfer his soul, and finds that he is being shipped to a Military Academy.  Military School would be the ultimate prison for kids and teenagers.  Then add on the whole ‘killer doll’ schtick, you’ve got a terrifying situation… Or so you’d think.

Chucky mails himself to the school and is taken by a little kid named Tyler.  First off, how did he package himself?  And so perfectly?  Then when he meets Tyler, he shouts and yells “Who the fuck are you?!”.  At 7 years old, that’s gonna scare the crap out of you.  So Chucky befriends Tyler and is now trying to get his soul into a new body.  Even though there is no development, we’re supposed to pick up on the idea that he is kind of a loner and doesn’t have a lot of friends.  So of course it makes him an ideal victim.  However loner kid or no, if there is a goddamn talking doll that screams and says Fuck when you first meet, a red flag should go up even with the most naive of people.  You’d figure a military school would teach kids not to talk to strangers.

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Chucky makes himself known to Andy and tells his plan to possess Tyler’s soul.  And what it is with bad guys always revealing their plans.  Don’t they watch James Bond movies…  Andy now has to go from being the scared victim to being the protector.  I would believe it if the actor wasn’t so bad.  I see him as being more of a daytime soap opera actor.  That being said this movie is kind of made for t.v.  It just has that look, it’s kind of hard to describe.    As the movie goes on, we meet other characters that get no development either.  His roommate is the geek, DeSilva is the love interest, and the asshole that everyone wants to die, Shelton.  At least Shelton makes us hate him which is always the sign of a good actor.  The rest of the cast, not so good.

The film goes on with a death every 20-30 mins, and one is actually robbed from Chucky.  The headmaster sees the doll with a giant bowie knife and has a heart attack.  Chucky’s line “ah, you gotta be fuckin kiddin me” is just perfect, because even he feels robbed.  If there is one thing about Chucky, it’s that he gets a kick out of killing people.  Like in the first one when when he laughs just before Eddie Caputo.

As the movie rolls into the third act, the school has this annual “War Games” of Capture the Flag.  Then we go from there to a carnival.  And what is a carnival doing in the middle of the woods?  Chucky has Tyler and begins the chant.  This part grinds my gears too!  He does look pretty wicked with half of his face missing, but he says the last part of the spell, the part that actually transfers his soul, 6 times.  Now I am now voodoo or witchcraft expert, but from what I have seen and read, spells usually aren’t chanted more than four times.  So if ya wanna get really technical, the spell was complete and Chucky’s soul should have been switched.  Imagine Chucky as a “Bro”, insert racial joke here.  Nonetheless, he is defeated and falls into a giant industrial fan.  Thus the Chucky is dead never to be heard from again.  YEAH RIGHT!

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Chucky is my man.  I literally grew up watching these movies, especially the first movie.  I know it backwards and forwards.  And even though none of them are as good as the Original (No movie ever is), this is the one that I have the hardest time watching.  The acting just isn’t all there, the story is just kinda blah, and I really didn’t care for how the doll looked.  He’s too bulky, like he’s been hitting the gym in hell and he brought back the muscle when he was brought back to life.  I will say that was pretty nifty way to bring him back.  Through the blood, it’s like something out of a Vincent Price movie or a Poe story.  This one is just too jokey.  Chucky has too many one-liners and puns.  I don’t mind giving him some, but when that’s all he says, it’s a bit much.  You don’t feel for any of the characters deaths, except the garbage man.  And what was up with the barber’s weird hair fetish.  He shouldn’t be using a creepster voice around an 8 year old saying “We’re seeing some skin now”, I’m just saying.  Child’s Play 3 has it’s moments, but on the whole, not good.  Just watch the few moments that are fun.  The beginning, the deaths in the middle, then the showdown at the carnival.  Then we call right into the actual comedies of the series, BRIDE OF CHUCKY.