Greco-Roman Badass #1 – Germanicus
Some badasses are fighters. Some, are Kings. And then there are there are guys like Germanicus. A motherfuker so terrifyingly awesome, part of Rome worship him as a god. While he was still alive. Born into what would basically be the Royal Roman family, Germanicus was directly related to 2/3 of the Triumverant. (Basically the most powerful men in all of the Roman Empire.) but this mother fucker wasn’t just royal. He was a royal badass. By the time he was 20, was already an accomplished military leader. And after the death of his uncle Emporer Augustus, the man was nearly crowned emperor, but instead, it went to some bitch named Tiberius. The Roman army was so mad at this choice, they suggested to Germanicus that they overthrow the emperor and install him instead. Being a badass of Honor, he proceeded the slap the shit out of anybody who dared dishonor the king. He didn’t care about the crown, Germanicus had vengeance on his mind. See, years ago a horde of German Warriors ambushed and murdered the ever-loving fuck out of Roman troops in Germany’s Teutoberg Forest. 20,000+ corpses strewn across the battlefield. And any survivors had their bodies hacked apart on stone altars and sacrifice to the pagan gods. Those fuckers even stole three Legionary Eagles from their bodies. And that was what got Germanicus thinking. Thinking about slaughtering every German he ever sees again. That’s exactly what he did. While on his comeback tour of 14 AD, he saw that the Germans had left a little surprise for him. 20,000 Roman skulls nailed to the trees of the forest. And that is when it all ended, at least figuratively for the Germans. Because after sailing across the North Sea the Germans thought the army dead. After all, nobody could really survive the storms of a sea capable of swallowing cities whole and killing hundreds of thousands at once right? Wrong. He decided he was going to kill Germans. Wasn’t going to let something like Neptune get in his way. After replacing all the ores and sales with his men’s clothes to stop everybody from drowning to death, Germanicus lead 8 Legions into battle. Some of who were survivors of the slaughter at Teutoberg. What followed was an absolute rout of the german forces.
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