Greco-Roman Badass #3 – All of Fucking Sparta
Let’s be honest here. This one really shouldn’t need that much explaining. Sparta drank the fear of their enemies. And shat out its excess testosterone. Their women could wrestle a lion and take the World Heavyweight Championship. Their babies could crush the skulls of their lesser neighbors’. And their soldiers? I mentioned earlier how 300 wasn’t that historically accurate? Here’s the thing. It was more accurate than some people realize. The fact of the matter is that everybody knew that Sparta doesn’t fuck around. Being a badass wasn’t just an expectation. It was literally in their DNA. And apparently so was not mincing words. Sparta was a hotbed of laconism. (Speaking with few words and a shit ton of attitude.) Once, the king of Macedonia told them
“You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city.”
You know what Sparta said? What their response to one of the most powerful militaries directly threatening all of their kingdoms was?
If.
Yeah… they didn’t make a stop at Sparta after that. When it takes one word to make an entire military shit themselves, your whole society is a badass.