Masculinity is in vogue these days. You see personal hygiene items, clothes, liquor, and a plethora of other products marketed to men as “Manly”. This occurrence tells me one simple thing. Advertisers are using this strategy because men are not manly anymore. They market products to increase our manliness because they know on the whole men are more feminized than ever.
If a man wants to explore his feminine side, good luck. But for me personally, I take pride in the fact that I wake up every morning and my wife doesn’t have to wait for me to get done in the bathroom so she can get ready for work. Unless I’m in there stinking up the joint. This leads me to my purpose here today. Are you a man’s man? Maybe you are. Could you be manlier? Absolutely, we all can. Let’s look at some things we can do to be a little bit manlier.
How to be Manly
Carry a Knife
This is a category where I am a colossal failure. I do not care what you do for a living, there will be at least one situation every single day when you would benefit from having a knife. These situations could be as simple as opening a box or more complex. Like field dressing a deer. Regardless of the purpose or type of knife a man’s man always carries a knife.
Be a Coach
You don’t have to be a father with kids that play sports to be a coach, though it certainly helps. Just be a coach to other men or boys. It doesn’t have to be sports necessarily. Go be a “Big Brother” or volunteer in a summer program at the local community center. Nothing says manliness like coaching boys to become men. Don’t believe me? Just ask your lady, because she agrees with me. She told me over dinner last night.
Be Yourself
Even if you’re lame, don’t hesitate to be different than everyone else. Manly men are not afraid to stick out in a crowd. We aren’t talking about self-actualization here or anything, just don’t drink the Kool-Aid. Set the trends instead of following them.
Keep Your Word
Let me be clear, keeping your word is not the same thing as honesty. This simply means doing what you say you will do, which includes being on time. A man can always use a good lie. Like when the bartender asks if you need another drink? You don’t “need” one per say, but you’ll take one. Which brings us to our next item.
Hold Your Booze
If there was a single item that makes a man manly, its holding your booze. Your drink can be beer, wine, or liquor. Whatever your poison is, make sure if you drink a lot of it that you don’t have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on. If you can’t hold your booze don’t drink in public. Or be prepared for embarrassment because you absolutely will do or say something that makes the next day hellish.
Guns
You don’t have to be a hunter or carry a gun every day. But, you need to at least be competent enough to shoot a gun with some dependability. One of the most embarrassed I’ve ever seen any of my friends is when one of them was handed a small caliber pistol at a gun range. He limp-wristed the gun and it jumped out of his hand and hit him in the face. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, but that one event alone is at least enough to familiarize yourself even the slightest amount with guns. And let us not forget preparation for the impending zombie apocalypse.
Tip Generously
If you can’t afford to go out to dinner or drinks and tip generously there is nothing wrong with this. Manliness has no income restrictions. If being a generous tipper is beyond your financial means, stay at home.
Be Cool
Fighting is fine. As is cursing, yelling, and violence in general. These things should always follow a calm, cool demeanor. Losing your temper at the drop of a hat is a serious manliness violation.
Be Well Read
You don’t have to live in the library. You don’t even need to read books. But pick something to read about regularly. That can be something like news or sports. Reading more makes you smarter, and stupidity is definitely not manly. However, being knowledgeable about any subject certainly is.
Have Facial Hair
Not everyone can grow facial hair. My early twenties were plagued by the absence of hair on my upper lip, so thinking about facial hair was quite traumatic for me. A few years later, after most of the hair on my head had fallen out, I could manage a serviceable mustache and my beard started to come in thicker. Now I sport a beard that gets me delayed in the airport most of the time.
Only three types of facial hair are acceptable for the manliest of men. These are the full beard, the mustache, and the clean shave. If you were not born prior to 1970 forget about sporting a mustache. 99 times out of 100 I see a mustache on someone under the age of 50 and I feel personally ashamed to be a member of the same species. Maybe you can get away with it, but I doubt it. So, if you cannot grow the full beard and you don’t qualify for a mustache, you need to clean shave at least three times a week. Because you know what we call a man who regularly displays a weak facial hair game? A boy.
That’s all for now folks. But for the ladies in the audience, both of you, I’d like to know how does your man stack up to this list? And for the gents, share this article with your friends and make sure their masculinity is worthy of your patronage.